Here I sit and I have somehow settled into a life that is filled with quiet. My days are quiet, my mind is quiet. The steaming mug of coffee or tea that I drink is quiet. The rhythm of the day is quiet. And I am not disturbed by the quiet.

For I know that there is a chaos lurking behind every second. A maelstrom of change, emotions, or disturbances that can instantly destroy this solemn world that I have created. It is no stranger to me, this flash of energy that electrifies the air. It has followed me all my life and has become a familiar friend – a cherished partner in a life well-lived.

I have been accused of living intensely. But I have never known it any other way. I may pause and ponder and bask in the lull of quiet, but I am always ready to meet my Fate. Year after year after year, there is another depth to plummet to and another peak to grasp onto.

There is a kiss or a hug or a cry that comes from some primitive place. The very essence of my humanity. And I know that I was made from this place of pain and beauty and wildness. In the purity of those moments I know myself as I truly am. Stripped of all pretense and ego, I am on the path to where I need to go.

No fire could burn me. No water could drown me. No grief could kill me. Chaos and quiet are quite the same.

I am them both.

v.